About the Crisis of Celibacy in Lebanon

JK, mid-40s, I’ve known him since 5 years now, he is in charge of the entertainment at our place; not his main job, he rather does it as a hobby.  A very decent man, workaholic to the max and dependable as no one else, seeking a life partner, sometimes desperately, but not finding any. Straight to the core without being unduly macho, but nevertheless, a bachelor amidst a sea of celibates. Ok, he does not have a big bank account or a fancy car but surely, he will not let his eventual family be in need of anything. He does not get the looks, but since when for a man his age, looks matter that much to find a mate?!

 What is this crisis of celibacy hitting our society ?? Not that I over value the “institution of marriage” or sanctify it in any way, but still, when you notice huge numbers of people of marriageable age, wanting to marry, but refraining from doing so, it is a case to ponder upon !

Ok, economic considerations prime: Stereotypically  women want a husband who can provide for them and assure them and the future children a good living, and men want a woman who works and/or who has a “BIG dota”, who –satisfy- his needs, and who can take care of HIS house, and raise HIS children !

That’s is the now traditional prima facie of things but not only ! Our grandparents married for love, to make a family, and to have sex…that later, is now very easily found and plentiful outside marriage. So, is it one reason less to marry ?!
I don’t know…

Back to JK, had he been living in another age, or in another society, I am sure he would find a partner, but in Lebanon, he couldn’t and probably, sadly, he won’t ! Why? When celibacy is hitting records among Lebanese women and when some celibate women go to extremes to seduce men, some men, not all, why does JK remain alone ? He surely would be the ideal husband and the exemplary father, but why then, doesn’t he fit the right profile ?

Why is it that more and more you hear men saying that the best would be to go to Eastern Europe to find a good and decent wife ? Or to the Philippines ?

It reminds me of similar stories in rural Japan and South Korea, where middle-aged men caught by rapid modernization also went south to find wives, to Vietnam, Cambodia and the Philippines… Also stories coming from rural France, Spain and Italy going to Romania or South America.

Perhaps when societies are in rapid transformation, women are ahead of men and they adopt earlier the new and future norms, they get more educated and their criteria shift quickly, when men are left behind, stuck in traditional norms and mores!

Whatever it is, our society is a transitional one, from a traditional / conservative society, it is rapidly moving to an open and liberal one… The norms are shifting before adjustments are made, consumerism and the ethos of a consumer society not helping at all: the lure of easy, quick money – and whatever its origin-, power and looks prime; it is the reign of superficiality over authenticity!


Image source: thesocietypages.org

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  1. Nice Espana!
    There are many reasons for celibacy. A national survey is needed to assess the current situation. But welcome to Lebanon, the land where official surveys are practically non existent.

  2. An increasing number of women versus men. If more than 50% of Lebanese are women…
    Also, more than numbers: economic crisis, political crisis, sectarian tensions, emigration… and more and more educated women who know what they want and demand for their rights.
    I agree there are bimbos and gold-diggers too but they are not the majority of women.

  3. Thank you Espana!
    We missed you Red Lips High Heels!
    I guess you were on holiday mode? 😉
    I don’t see it as a CRISIS!
    parts of society are changing and other parts are still the same with even more marriages and children. it depends on social classes, urban or rural areas, religious community.
    women can be educated but that doesn’t mean automatically that they won’t marry on the contrary. educating women is seen by many as the ‘DOTA’ nowadays. she has to be educated to be well married.
    and following her honey moon? no need for her education anymore, at least not to get a job!

  4. i’m for a good suited marriage
    i’m a gold-digger true! honestly, most men i encounter like us bimbos and gold-diggers Abir!! and they marry our kind true!

  5. Less lebanese would be great!
    no need to marry and have kids if their future is as dark as hell!
    a crime to have children nowadays.
    concubinage is a good step, democracy and human rights too; and boycotting politicians!

  6. moi je vois que c’est la crise à tous les niveaux dont la crise du mariage et de la famille et même du célibat car on ne le vit pas tranquillement ni on ne se sent épanoui.
    bref ce sont ces deux états ou situations – mariage et célibat- qui sont en crise!

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