About Premarital Sex and Sexism! My opinion

Romy Salameh

Many debates have taken place recently, especially in the Middle East, and many articles have been talking about sex before marriage. But the thing is, despite what the majority’s opinion is, it always concerns women… Can women have any sexual relations before marriage? Or is it a death penalty in religions? What does God have to say about it? Does it bring shame to the family of a woman? All these questions have been asked, and sure enough the answer is against sex before marriage, it is always about what society believes is true, what people believe God said, and that it’s something a woman has to do to preserve the honor of her family.

But when it comes to men, the rule doesn’t apply… Strange…  People forget that women AND men are both equal human beings. So when this rule applies to one ‘category’, it has to apply to the other. You can’t be against premarital sex for women, but for men… sure… why not??!!! It proves how “strong” and “manly” they are. On the other hand, a woman who has slept with one man is called a sl**, but a man who has slept with a bunch of women is a “hero”. I’m not saying what’s wrong and what’s right… I’m not saying what you should or shouldn’t believe. All I’m saying is, as long as you put your arguments for or against it, let it be fair, and equal, for both sexes. For example, about the religious arguments:

For Christians who hold the Bible and say that God said NO to premarital sex, and that’s why a woman must stay a virgin until her wedding day, I quote: [Jesus] said, “It is what comes out of a person that defiles. For it is from within, from the human heart, that evil intentions come: fornication, theft, murder, adultery, avarice, wickedness, deceit, licentiousness, envy, slander, pride, folly. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a PERSON.” (NRSV, Mark 7:20-23)

It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.(English Standard Version,1 Corinthians 7:1-5)

For Muslims who hold the same beliefs, here’s a quote from the Qur’an: Chapter 24, verse 2 : “The woman and the man guilty of adultery or fornication, – flog each of them with a hundred stripes: Let not compassion move you in their case, in a matter prescribed by Allah, if ye believe in Allah and the Last Day: and let a party of the Believers witness their punishment”.

These quotes cited above don’t need to be explained… Clear enough!!

Men and women are creatures of the same species. They both share the same needs, including: eating, drinking… and even SEX. In this case, why should women be forced to ignore one of their needs, while men have the right to fulfill it? Religion (or religious interpretations) seems to be just a cover for what society thinks of women: lesser human beings!!! It seems to act as an excuse to keep traditions/opinions/beliefs that have been around for thousands of years. While in reality it all comes down to sexism. Unfortunately, sexism isn’t only found in the issue of premarital sex…

“- Are you with premarital sex?
HELL YEAH!
– Would you marry a girl who had premarital sex?
ARE YOU INSANE? ”

(Typical Middle Eastern guys’ opinions/beliefs)

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References
(n.d.). Retrieved from http://www.mediterraneas.org/article.php3?id_article=390.
(n.d.). Retrieved from http://www.fdcd.org/media_r.php?Id=4&t=Articles&Id1=41.
(n.d.). Retrieved from http://sexisminlebanon.blogspot.com/.
(n.d.). Retrieved from http://amptoons.com/blog/2005/05/23/middle-eastern-women-going-to-extremes-to-save-their-lives/.
(n.d.). Retrieved from http://www.christianbiblereference.org/faq_premaritalsex.htm.
(n.d.). Retrieved from http://amptoons.com/blog/2005/05/23/middle-eastern-women-going-to-extremes-to-save-their-lives/.
(n.d.). Retrieved from http://amptoons.com/blog/2005/05/23/middle-eastern-women-going-to-extremes-to-save-their-lives/.

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4 Comments

  1. Nice Romy!
    True there are double standards and it’s a shame. We still have a lot to accomplish in order to reach equality in rights and opportunities.

  2. True most Middle Eastern men think that way, but not all of them. I for example and my friends believe women and men are equal, sexuality included!

  3. I’d never marry a girl who hadn’t had sex before… I mean come on, how can it ever work if the sex isn’t good (for both) plus the awkwardness of someone who’s a virgin would sorta spoil the intimacy and passion. Get the awkward, bad sex days out of the way before having a meaningful relationship later on.

  4. Great article Romy. In the middle eastern cultures, still deeply religious, premarital sex is a taboo, forbidden for women. Religiously speaking, it’s considered a sin for both sexes.
    But we cannot forget it’s a deeply flawed religious society, where females are yet to be considered equal in rights to males.
    In western countries, sex is considered a part of life, just like it should be. A need and an everyday activity for both genders. A woman’s sexual desires are as accepted as a man’s. Lebanon has still a long way to go before reaching such liberalism and freedom of action.

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